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1.
All this worry and wondering All this time spent in my head Imagining things that might happen Probably never will instead Is it our nature to wonder If happiness is just accepting things as is? Is it our nature to wander Just when life starts to set in? Like an artist desperate to understand Trading in his eyes to see as another man I shed my skin and I sailed for foreign land To find the answers, oh Love’s not a secret, there’s no password to get in for yourself Love’s not the answer to a riddle that you need to figure out One could get lost in that illusion Drifting years without a port Live in a character so long you lose yourself, lose true north All those years chasing something Afraid of life passing me by Till she showed me love can be simple if I only try Love’s not a secret, there’s no password to get in for yourself Love’s not the answer to a riddle that you need to figure out Love can be simple if you let it, can be simple if you want Love can be simple if you want.
2.
I’ve been waiting for you so long I forget who I used to be Sometimes I love you so much that it feels like I can’t even breathe Such a long, long way from here to eternity What I think of to say will never suffice You deserve a song that captures the quintessence of you Filled with beautiful words that sound stolen straight from the gods Such an awful shame can’t write you that sort of poetry Yeah, such a shame for words to fail me now It’s a goddamn shame, my love Can’t properly explain All I see in you Oh, it’s such a goddamn shame, my love Can’t find the words to say I can rhapsodize about those beautiful eyes ‘til my voice gives out If I verbalized all the thoughts in my mind wouldn’t be enough I can agonize and scrutinize every word I write But I’d rather try to spend my whole life disproving doubt Such a goddamn shame It’s a goddamn shame It’s a goddamn shame Such a goddamn shame Oh, it’s a goddamn shame, my love Can’t properly convey All I see in you Oh, it’s such a goddamn shame, my love Can’t define these things All I love in you Yeah, it’s just a goddamn shame It’s a goddamn shame, my love It’s a goddamn shame, my love Such a goddamn shame, my love.
3.
I still see you in my dreams Though most the time we’re arguing Still trying to win the war I kept all of your old voicemails A reminder to myself Of why we closed that door   I’m done sifting through the ashes Dissecting the past ‘cause I forgave you long ago Oh, don’t you ever think of me at all?  There’s a song that transports me To our little place off Gray Street Back before things fell apart It don’t ever play in my home But should I hear it in the corner store Can’t help but hum along Oh, don’t you ever think of me at all? Oh, don’t you ever think of me at all? Don't you ever think of me at all? Sometimes I imagine bumping into you And what we’d talk about that night Oh, don’t you ever think of me at all? Oh, don’t you ever think of me at all? Don't you ever think of me at all?
4.
Ancients 03:30
Thumbing through pictures of the ancients Faded yellow from some way-back wedding day Did they wonder if they’d make it through all of life’s changes Or were things more certain then? How ‘bout their first time on an airplane Wasn’t it strange to feel the earth fall away from their feet? Did they trust that they’d remain suspended in the air Then make it down safely again? How do you know you’ll love me That your heart won’t ever drift? How do you know you’ll love me When there’s so much love to give? There you’re standing in that white dress Can’t stop thinking about how beautiful you look And how can I deserve you, such a perfect being Who looks at me the way you do? How do you know you’ll love me When everything must change? How do you know you’ll love me When life itself is pain? How do you know you’ll love me? How do you know that you’ll still want to be here? How do you know how your heart will feel about me Between now and forty-odd years? How do you know you’ll love me That this flame won’t ever dim? How do you know you’ll love me When there’s so much life to live?
5.
Born Lucky 03:54
Sometimes they say that looks can deceive Sometimes a wolf slips in among the sheep What we’ve wandered into it’s a den of thieves Who know that the only way to win is to cheat What we got here is a wolf in wolf’s clothing Everyone laughs but nobody’s joking Ain’t a soul unaware of where it is that we’re going Somehow they still manage to change the focus It’s hard work I’m sure keeping up the lie Never picking up the pieces, just creating new divides It doesn’t really matter if you’re wrong or you’re right Either way they’ll claim that they’re justified Pulled back against our will, losing the energy to fight If I could I would walk out now But we haven’t got the time Friend asks why we’d bring a child to this place Who knows what kind of world they’ll inherit at this rate? Everything moving backwards at a breakneck pace And it’s only getting hotter Truth be told, I hold the same fears in my mind Trying to raise a child in these self-destructive times Make a joke laced with truth to explain why “Can’t just let them procreate, we need more of us to fight” See, me and you, we were both born lucky Took it for granted, now we both owe something Do what I can while my heart is still pumping For my wife, for my son, for my daughter soon to come For my wife, for my son, for my daughter soon to come.
6.
7.
Bad Feeling 04:11
Got a bad feeling rising Like it’s all closing in And I can’t seem to change the direction that I’m headed in Moved to the city and scrubbed my accent away Killed all my dreams for some stranger’s chase When you stop loving yourself it’s easy to become something you hate So I piled up the work and thought that’d show the way Now I’m second-guessing every call I ever made Any prize I earned ain’t worth the price that I have paid Oh, I was once told I’m too selfish to love But I wasn’t this man before you showed up Twelve years in this goddamn town can make your edges so rough Yeah, I meant to call my sister who lives out of state They say talking can help whatever that’s supposed to mean But I’m so bad at keeping up with anyone these days Paralyzed by this thing, this anxiety Got a bad feeling rising Like it’s all closing in And I can’t seem to change the direction that I’m headed in Got a bad feeling rising Can’t get it out of my head Was it something I did last night Or something I said? Got a bad feeling rising Got a bad feeling rising Got a bad feeling rising like it’s all closing in.
8.
Laying silent on a naked mattress Nose pressed deeper into "The Flame" Single headlight through your bedroom window Tracing your face I hide myself inside your tangled tresses Sing you songs that never have a name In a language only we discovered That time reclaims I’ll be waiting here for you, my love I’ll be waiting here, my love Take a swim into the midnight ocean Spilled between us from the things unsaid Sink below the waves into the motion To where you’re led I’ll be waiting here for you, my love I’ll be waiting here, my love Will I match the vision you’ve long pictured Or disappoint in unexpected ways? Time’s humor bends the most-sure memory In endless shapes And I will wait for you, my love Like you always knew or expect me to I’ll be there when you call to me Should you call to me I’ll be waiting here for you, my love I’ll be waiting here, my love I’ll be waiting here for you, my love I’ll be waiting here, my love.
9.
Oh, you’re not some equation asking to be solved You learned a long time ago exactly who you are Cautious but a dreamer, likely to play it safe Rarely one to go all-in for something so high stakes Which brings me to us, darling And what you see in play Darling, don’t go dark on me Darling, don’t go dark on me My finger’s feeling heavy from this silver ring They say it takes some getting used to with this thing You haven’t had the time yet to switch your last name Your wedding gown is hanging there still needing a dry-clean But you don’t need a test to know there’s been a change Darling, don’t go dark on me Darling, don’t go dark on me You worry that your twenties are being taken away And work won’t ever look at you the same way again You call yourself a vessel only half-joking But you need some time alone to grieve who you've been Take all the time you need, I’ll be here when you say Darling, don’t go dark on me  Darling, don’t go dark on me.
10.
How does this hold up To what you thought Life would be like with a child? Every new day’s Distinct and the same Oh, isn’t it grand? You stayed up way late To see my face Read the note taped to the bathroom mirror I was blind-drunk But sobered up Once I saw our future How I love you, baby How I love you, darling How I love you, baby Had you forgotten? You laugh and tell me We’ll never be Older than we feel right now Still I just wish to Sit with you And watch our backyard bloom How I love you, baby How I love you, darling How I love you, baby Had you forgotten? Had you forgotten? How I love you, baby How I love you, Petrovna How I love you, baby Had you forgotten?
11.
I’ve been looking for a dark-haired girl Everything I see makes me think of her I’ve been looking for a dark-haired girl Everywhere I go, everywhere I turn I’m gonna find my dark-haired girl If it takes me years, I'm gonna find that girl I’m gonna find my dark-haired girl And everything will be fine Swear I met you back in time Like a road well-known from the first drive A song to which I forgot the lines ‘Til your melody brought them back to mind I’m gonna find my dark-haired girl If it takes me years, gonna find that girl I’m gonna find my dark-haired girl And everything will be fine I’ve been looking for a dark-haired girl Everything I see makes me think of her I’ve been looking for a dark-haired girl Everywhere I go, everywhere I turn.
12.
Feel a load of pressure pushing down on me Collapses me slowly ‘til I can hardly breathe And you speak softly, but it’s all I need How’d you make such miracles feel routine? You were such a homebody, even before everything Before the whole world went sideways, or the baby came Sometimes you bring up that old life like something lost to the flames But trust me, love, there’s no way I’d rather spend these days With all of my heart I give you this pledge With all of my heart, my best friend With all of my heart I’ll love you forever I love you with all my heart Sometimes I take a position, and I don’t back down You stare daggers at me from your end of the couch And once the score is settled, and you’ve straightened me out Darling, I could just watch you laugh for hours With all of my heart I give you this pledge With all of my heart, my best friend With all of my heart I’ll love you forever I love you with all my heart Sometimes you will ask me, how’d we come this far? But we both know the answer to that one With all of my heart until the end With all of my heart, my best friend With all of my heart I’ll love you forever I'll love you with all my heart I'll love you with all my heart I'll love you with all my...
13.
Honeybee 01:07
My honeybee, honey, where can you be? My honeybee, honey, where can you be? Oh, you sought a new love But it’s worse than before Bought a big house That you’ll never afford Thought it might've worked 'cause we’re both dog people ‘Til I realized I’m the dog you love kicking You're my honeybee, my honey, where can you be? My honeybee... honey, where can you be?

about

It's been six years since we released the last Glenn Yoder & The Western States album. Suffice to say, much has happened.

Love, marriage, had a kid, pandemic, moved far away, settled in, had another kid, moved even farther away. Through it all, the unsettling sense that the world is on fire or on the verge of it, at least.

So I wrote about it, about this bizarre, transformative block of time -- the overwhelming joy of love and children, of course, but also the anxieties and adjustments that come with those precious responsibilities, particularly in this climate. About giving up one version of ourselves in order to become another.

There were many moments when I sincerely doubted that this record would ever be completed, that I'd ever finish writing it or we'd ever get to recording it, but I also think that that additional time made this perhaps our most considered record to date. It's a document of our conversations and hopes and concerns and feelings that I may have otherwise lost to time, so I'm glad that I have it at least. I hope you get something out of it too.

As always, my love and appreciation to my beloved band: Jeff, JMC, Chris, Brooks and our unofficial sixth member, Dave. I am so fortunate to have had them play and work on my songs for all these years. It was also important to me to have Cilla's beautiful voice return for this album, and I am so happy we made it happen. This record really reflects my strongest musical bonds -- put simply: it sounds like us.

Thank you for listening, and I hope you enjoy it!

- GY, July 2023

credits

released August 18, 2023

Produced by Jeremy Moses Curtis
Recorded by Dave Westner at Erik Lindgren's Sounds Interesting, Middleborough, MA, August 2022
Additional recording and mixing by Dave Westner and Jeff Katz at various home studios
Mastered by Alex McCullough at True Master, Nashville, Tennessee, June 2023
All songs written by Glenn Yoder
Cover photograph by Owen Yoder, art direction by Matt Callahan and Genevieve Adams
Copyright © 2023 Vegas Zombie Music Publishing Co. (ASCAP)

The Western States:

Glenn Yoder: Vocals, guitar, harmonica
Jeff Katz: Guitar, vocals
Jeremy Moses Curtis: Bass
Chris Anzalone: Drums, percussion
Brooks Milgate: Piano, keyboards, organ

Special appearance by Cilla Bonnie on harmony vocals.

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